It's a question I've been asking myself lately--Am I where I'm supposed to be? And that question is quickly followed by another--Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing?
At a recent dinner with some friends from church, I explained that my daughter and her husband were saving every penny they could for a mission trip to Haiti. From the first time they heard about their church's efforts in that country, they were moved to participate. A garage sale, selling cookies and halting all drives through the fast food lanes have netted some of the necessary funds. But it was the generous donations from friends and church members that have boosted their Haiti funds to the halfway point. It has been an amazing journey and I'm excited for them.
But I don't understand them.
Or rather, I don't understand their deep desire to travel to other countries to spread God's Word. But they are not the only family members who have been called to this work. For the last three summers, my youngest sister has traveled to dangerous parts of Panama to minister to villages that have never seen someone with blond hair like hers. My college-aged niece has made several trips to Africa over the last several summers. Her joy in serving has spread to her father and he has joined her the last two years. This summer my middle sister is joining them along with the rest of their family. Again, I'm very excited for them all, but . . .
Is there something wrong with me that I have absolutely no desire to do this? Why don't I feel moved to participate and join in these ministries? After all, isn't this at the very heart of the Great Commission delivered by Christ?
This past week I turned to a passage in Sarah Young's book, " Jesus Calling". The words must have been written with me in mind:
You are on the path of My choosing. There is no randomness about your life. Here and Now comprise the coordinates of your daily life.
It occurred to me that I am doing what God has called me to do--writing. This is not a desire that He has placed in my daughter's heart, my niece's heart or my sisters' hearts. If He has chosen to place it within me, then it is no less noble a cause than missionary work.
My job is to spread God's Word in a different way. And this journey has given me more joy than anything I have ever done. Somehow I think that inner peace is a sign that I am on the right path--the one of His choosing.
"I ask--ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory--to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do." Ephesians 1:17-18 MSG
Are you where you are supposed to be?
Next week: Max Lucado helps me out!
Hello there, Mom!
ReplyDeleteI know you're doing what you're supposed to be doing because you haven't lost the passion for it since the moment that God gave you the desire to make it happen. You haven't been deterred by regulations, deadlines, or critiques. This is the main indication to me that you are where you're supposed to be.
I wrote in my journal earlier this week about the moment that God changed my heart. As you know, I haven't always been inclined toward mission work. I kind of felt it was just down right awkward. But as I wrote, I realized how God set this in motion. I began to see the timing he had for me, and the people he placed in my life along the way. In in His perfect timing I heard stories about travels, read scriptures I hadn't seen, talked to people who had gone, and then God gave me an inexplicable urge to GO!
Recently I have wondered...fretted... about if the fulfillment of this journey to Haiti would multiply my desire for mission work, or if it would satiate it. I worry because I know how I am. I know that I can go full steam and then fizzle out (ie...basketball, theater, couponing, D and D, writing, candy making, card tricks...oh geez...how long IS this list?)but I have felt a GROWING passion with the continued research, preparation, and penny-pinching unlike any 'flavor of the month' I've pursued before; just like you are feeling during the course of getting your book in people's hands! And like you, I haven't been deterred by inconveniences like vaccines, passports,or the unexpected airfare.
I think you can agree that the drive that you and I feel cannot be simply explained away. Because it's God. It's not meant to go away, it's meant to BE.
And don't worry about not feeling called to physically be in another country spreading the Word of God. God willing, your book will touch the lives of people across the globe, and will do the speaking for you. :)
Beautifully said, Nat. We may be on different paths, but for the same purpose. I will enjoy taking the journey along side of you, sweet daughter.
DeleteWhat a beautiful post, Ava. And may I say, I love Jesus Calling! It is amazing how it speaks to where I am, just when I need it.
ReplyDeleteI don't think guilt is a part of God's plan. We all are called to different missions. We all are given different gifts. We each do God's work in a way that is uniquely ours. And God delights in that!
Keep on writing, girl!
p.s. CANNOT WAIT FOR MONDAY!!!! Can we leave early???? Or late Sunday night? (We have dinner at our house at 6:30, but our parents will probably leave around 9 or so.) Food for thought!!! :)
Looks like it will be early on Monday. We are celebrating on Sunday night with my family and I'll probably need to stay and put my Dad to bed around 10:30. But I've already started packing.
DeleteI'm soooo excited. I went shopping for my Smart Ones meals and snacks. Oh yes....I'm so exited.
ReplyDelete